TEENAGE DANGERS

We, as parents, have much to fear. Our teenagers are in danger all the time. Unless you have a child who spends his hours indoors pouring over newspapers and books, he will be out there – exposed to all the dangers that the millenium child may come into contact with.

The news is constantly full of stories about date rape. Quite a scary thought, isn’t it? Whether you worry about your daughter (or son) becoming a victim, or heaven help us if he commits this heinous crime, it makes you shudder. As soon as you manage to get your brain wrapped around one drug, another pops up. Now they speak about a new Russian sleeping potion which could be used to spike the drinks of unsuspecting women.

This possibility was raised by a Swedish Professor who is an expert on recreational drugs. The drug is phenazepam. It was not registered as a pharmaceutical in the West, so control of it is very difficult. It is imported from Russia and Ukraine in powder form and has to be weighed very carefully into individual doses. People who had taken doses ‘a hundredfold’ higher than they should have, have ended up unconscious for days.

This is one of the drugs possibly used for ‘spiking’. How do we keep up with them all?

Constantly talking to your child and informing them to never leave a drink unattended may save them. Order a drink in a can and make sure it has not been opened. If it is a drink that must be poured, be vigilant and watch them pouring it.

How about Ecstacy? Harmless party drug? Think again. A grim warning from the same Swedish Professor. “It turns you into a reptile, then you die.”

Ecstacy disrupts the part of the brain that regulates body temperature. “You take on the temperature of your surroundings. Heat stroke is a common problem. If you are dancing, your temperature rises and becomes uncontrollable,” says Dr Kai Knudsen. Doctors treating patients have to sedate them and cool them down as their temperatures can reach 41 or 42 degrees.

Then there are kids who don’t use designer drugs, they simply eat mushrooms. Hospitals in Sweden treat hundreds of people who had eaten suspect mushrooms to get high. “They go mad,” he says. “One man had been struck by “hunger hallucinations” and had burst into MacDonalds and in a frenzy, ate 20 Big Macs, after which he was still hungry.

Coke-snorting. We have the likes of Kate Moss who sets a bad example with her careless drug habits. Did you know that according to a recent UN report, an estimated 25 percent of cocaine enters Europe via Africa?

Facebook and MySpace. A wonderful platform for communicating and exchanging ideas and information but becoming all-consuming for an ever increasing number of users. And it’s not just teens using this virtual social environment.

Counsellors are now concerned about this obsession as many kids come home from school and before even considering lunch or homework, find themselves in front of the screen and sometimes tap away until the early hours of the morning. This cannot be healthy. Parents should introduce strict rules around access and usage. It has gone so far that the user now has ‘withdrawal symptoms’ if unable to access the site for some reason. There is also the danger of placing too much personal information for access by unknown persons.

Cyber bullying has also been reported where unknown persons post malicious comments. Because Facebook and similar sites are here to stay, we are forced to ensure a stricter control over our children. For the younger child who perhaps is just starting to mention that he would like to join the site, it would be an ideal time to lay down rules and STICK with them. Now is also a good time to sit with your child and log onto a very good, recently launched British site to review the dangers and tips about this subject. www.thinkuknow.co.uk/cybercafe

Hubbly Bubbly (Or hookah)

Now I know this is not a new invention. It has been around for a long, long time but has now become a huge ‘fad’. It is gaining an enormous popularity amongst teenagers at parties and homes. Many well-educated parents are willingly allowing their children to take up this fad and are even buying them for their children. My own son has attended many parties where the parents have happily put these out with all the relevant flavoured tobacco. “It’s perfectly safe!” they say. Is it? This IS smoking, contrary to the popular perception that the two are not related. But you will have a hard time telling your child this when so many other parents are telling them that it is fine. “But,” says my son “the smoke is filtered through the water which makes the smoke perfectly safe.”

The water is not a filter. It simply cools the heat of the smoke down which makes hubby bubbly's risk as great as, and perhaps even greater than cigarette smoking. How easy is it to add dagga to this? Very easy. Does it happen? Of course it does.

So parents. Should you not rather buy a few packets of cigarettes for your teens house-party and let them help themselves to a ‘smoke’? Cringing? Then cringe at the idea of a hubbly-bubbly as well!

EMO. So what’s this, you say? You’ll hear a number of teenagers who classify themselves as such. Generally ones who are searching for a quest or an identity. This is one of many subcultures for such a searching person. It’s a wide-ranging term for a certain type of music (punk-type); a certain style of fashion and a certain personality, generally one who feels misunderstood, lonely or introspective. Sometimes aligned to Goth or Punk, it involves wearing tight black clothing (jeans, jerseys, scarves). Unlike Goth, make up does not have to be pale with black accentuation. Counsellors advise that this does not necessarily need to be a cause for concern as it could just be a normal adolescent stage, unless the behaviour becomes aggressive or destructive.

GONZO PORN. Well, I have a 16-year old and I have not come across this one until now. So what is it? It appears that South Africa is the ‘dumping ground’ for the worst kinds of pornography. I learn that there are two versions of the Hustler magazine. One is the soft-core version for markets overseas and then we have the hard-core ‘Gold’ version for distribution within South Africa.

“Pornography that is beyond the generally-accepted community level of tolerance in other countries is promptly shipped off to SA.” Apparently, since 1998, in excess of 30 000 hard-core pornography DVDs and Video Cassettes have made their way into the country. (Approved by the Film and Publication Board) Amongst this is a genre of pornography known as Gonzo.

Gonzo movies are simply a filmed series of incredibly degrading sex-acts, including oral, viginal and anal penetration, and these often performed while the men call the women by foul, demeaning and degrading names, all the while expecting the women to react by saying how much they are enjoying the specific act. As this pornography is becoming increasingly normalised, pornographers are pushing for younger and younger ‘porn-stars’

This all in light of the reported statistics of 2007 that 150 children are raped every day in South Africa. The levels of violence that men use against children and women in these cases point to a very dangerous sadistic undertone.

Which drugs are teenagers using? The list is long – but here are some: dagga, mandrax, ecstasy, LSD, cat, cocaine, heroin, crack, liquid ecstasy, poppers, magic mushrooms, malpitte.

And where do the teenagers get hold of these drugs? Remember that it is not always the stranger that offers your child drugs. It is more often than not, kids that sell to kids. Your child’s circle of friends. Their siblings. Kids very seldom have to ‘look’ for drugs. They are right there – pharmacies; clubs; bars; your medicine cabinet; garages.

But my child has no money to buy drugs, you say. Surely it’s only the kids with money? Wrong. Drugs have become cheaper. Kids use their allowances; birthday money; steal from parents; they can become involved in criminal activity. There are many ways!

ALCHOHOL - This is a very tricky problem and not easily solved. Most adults drink at home, don't they? So, "if my parents can drink, so can I," not so? Sometimes I share a beer-shandy with my son (he's 16) - "that's all you're allowed to drink," I tell him.

Off he goes on a Friday night to meet his mates at a place like the local Pizzeria, where all the 15, 16 & 17 year-old seem to go and hang out. They're legally too young to get into night clubs. But this is how it goes: they order a Smirnoff from the waiter (who willingly obliges) and share one pizza amongst 3 or 4 youngsters. Having done that one, they stride off to a different restuarant who easily allow these young teens in and promptly serve them as much alchohol as they want. At the end of the evening, my son has had 2 drinks, (because he doesn't have much money with him) and some of his friends who carry much more money have had perhaps 6-10 drinks.

How much will these kids drink when they are 18? In South Africa, alchohol usage is not strictly controlled. Yes, the legal drinking age is 18 but no one seems to enforce it.

It is very difficult to control what your teenager does when he is not at home. The problem is, when he is out with his friends and they are all doing it - he will more likely than not, do the same. I often feel I am fighting a losing battle. At this point in time, I feel almost helpless as I continuously lecture my son about the dangers and deliberately give him a nominal amount of money when he goes out with his friends. I am forever amazed when I do collect him and yes, he did have a Smirnoff, and "you must see this 15 year old girl," he tells me "she was so drunk that she crawled into a garbage bin to sleep." I wonder what her mother or father thought when they came to collect her?

Parents, watch your kids. Talk to them. Listen to them. All the time. Be aware of any changes. A problem is easier to address in it’s initial stages. Even good kids can become involved in bad things. Your child is not excluded.