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Reading ......is such an important aspect of a child’s education and one needs to focus more on this subject. A love of reading is one of the most important things you can teach your child. Books are not merely to be read to children but should be shared with them. Young children need books that are lively and colourful – and ones that they can enjoy and be part of. Too often it is so easy to allow our children time in front of the television because it keeps them quiet and out of our way. They often spend long hours watching programmes or playing video or computer games. These may be argued to assist with co-ordination skills and are educational, but are only so if the time spent is controlled. It is nevertheless a passive past time and does not require the person watching to do much active thinking, and this passiveness becomes addictive. Some children become loners finding it easier to relate to the machine than to people and the compulsion can become more important than the required reading, writing and social skills. Books form part of an individual’s growth process where the reader meets challenging people, places and ideas. Children must learn to think, learn to do, and learn to go and find out – instead of just sitting still and being told everything. Invention comes only from imagination. We all need a touch of dreaming. Encourage your children to read and this will allow them to “think”. Purpose of adoption literature Children use books as “mirrors and windows”. They look for stories that mirror their own experience or give them a glimpse into the experiences of people different from themselves. Adoption literature for children serves two main purposes. Firstly to analyse their own adoption and secondly to act as an aid for discussion about their adoption. Parents and children rely on adoption literature to give validity to their own experience. By reading about the experiences of other adoptive families, they feel less alone. This is why families tend to look for books exactly like their families. Parents also look for books about adoption to provide them with opportunities to discuss a subject they may feel entirely comfortable with. Well chosen books therefore allow parents to “open a door” to a topic that is hard to discuss. Although many books serve valuable functions, unfortunately far too many are written from an adult viewpoint. They may accurately present a problem and describe how to solve that problem but they do not develop a compelling plot or include interesting characters with which children can identify. Therefore good children’s adoption literature must accurately present issues faced by real adoptive families within the context of a good story and interesting characters. A few interesting books are discussed below under following headings: Non-fiction, realistic fiction and fantasy. Non-Fiction Non-fiction books tend to be quite popular. A good example of such a book is “How it Feels To Be Adopted”, by Jill Krementz. In this book, 19 children between the ages of 8 and 16 describe in their own words their feelings, questions, and concerns about different aspects of their adoptions. While the photographs may become dated, they are of such high quality that this shortcoming can be overlooked. Other effective non-fiction books may include first-person accounts of searches for birth relatives by adoptees. Among those suitable for young adults is Twice Born: Memoirs of an Adopted Daughter, by Betty Jean Lifton. Realistic Fiction Much of the available adoption literature falls into this category, especially those directed at readers in the elementary school grades. For these books to be of value they must be believable – the people and places have to seem real. The reader must be able to say “Yes, this really could have happened”. Also the characters need to be three dimensional and experience a full range of emotions and the language needs to be casual enough that it sounds like real people talking. The problem with many of these books is that in an effort to develop a dramatic story line, the adoption issue may be presented as far more dramatic that it would actually be in real family life. For example, a child’s feelings of anger about having been placed for adoption might seem to be an overwhelming emotion in a book rather than one of many feelings the child might have about being adopted or one of the many reasons a child might feel angry. A book called “Lucy’s Feet” by Stephanie Stein does a good job of presenting adoption issues in the subtle way they often appear in actual families rather than by overdramatisation of conflict. More such books are needed where adoption is part of the story, but not the source of the drama or conflict. Fantasy While children of all ages enjoy fantasy fiction, adoption books in this genre tend to be geared to younger readers. The line between fantasy and reality should be clear otherwise children can be left with misconceptions. The book “A Mother for Choco” by Keiko Kasza, where a bird in need of a family is taken home by a bear, never mentions the word “adoption” but manages to present important values through fantasy fiction. Finally, parents should remember that books can explore issues on adoption, but they are not substitutes for parent-child communication. Summarised from Adopted Child, Vol 11 No. 10, 1992. Susan Goodrich Miles, Adoption Literature for Children and Young Adults: An Annotated Bibliography (1991) Pat Johnston, owner of Perspectives Press which publishes books on infertility and adoption. A ROAD CALLED ADOPTION By Irene Berman and Eileen Jordaan, Angel Publishers 1996 Eileen Jordaan served for many years as manager and Irene Berman as the senior social worker at the Adoption Centre in Cape Town (South Africa). Their combined experience in social work has prompted them to write this book – based on case histories – in an attempt to answer some of the many questions arising out of the adoption dilemma. This book is best described by the authors: “The purpose of writing this book is to share with you the far reaching implications of adoption, and to lend some insight into the predicaments of the parties involved. Rather than write a series of case studies, we chose to blend our knowledge into stories in which the reader is invited “inside” of the characters, to experience with them the confusion, fears and joys. The characters are fictitious; their situations are not. The situations have been based on actual cases dealt with by the authors over many years of adoption practice. We know that many of you will weep, not only for the characters, but also for yourselves, or for those you love. We expect that this book will stir emotions.” A most welcoming addition to adoption literature. Easy to read. THICKER THAN WATER Compiled by Rebecca Kahn Released 2006 A newly released book of South African adoption stories. It tells the moving stories of 14 South Africans who have adopted or have been adopted. They speak honestly about the joys and challenges of creating and living in their unique families. Thicker Than Water’s in-depth resource section is the first of its kind and includes information on: the adoption process, fostering, cross-cultural adoption, adopting an institutionalized child and finding one’s biological parents.Worth reading.
TELL ME AGAIN ABOUT THE NIGHT I WAS BORN By Jamie Lee Curtis and cleverly illustrated by Laura Cornell This is a book for a young child and a wonderful way to introduce adoption into her life. I read it many times to my young daughter and even now at 10 years old, it is one of her favourites as she places herself into the character of the story. It is a heartwarming story, not only of how one child is born but of how a family is born. Highly recommended by readers … RAISING ADOPTED CHILDREN by Lois R. Melina NUTMEG GETS A LETTER by Julia Foxon Rather than handing this book to your child, it should be read by a parent first and then used to facilitate discussion. It includes Practice Guidelines with suggestions on how the material might be used. Recommended questions asked of the child to encourage discussion between parent and child. This book is a useful tool for parents trying to find ways to help their children explore difficult feelings that arise when thinking about their birth families. Nutmeg is a small red squirrel that appears in a couple of publications and focuses on contact in adoption, aiming to help young children identify and explore feelings aroused by contact with birth families. The illustrations are appealing and the text is child-friendly. The Birth of an Adoptive, Foster or Stepmother: Beyond Biological Mothering Attachments by Barbara Waterman The theme of this book being the common experiences of women who raise children not biologically theirs. This book is very supportive of a mother’s role, acknowledging losses involved in all types of mothering, including that of the birth mother whose child is taken care of by others. If you are a resident of the UK, consider subscribing to the bi-monthly magazine ‘Adoption Today’. E-mail: admin@adoptionuk.org.uk Use the 'Contact Us' from Home Page and tell me … WHAT ARE YOUR LATEST READS? WHERE DID YOU GET THEM? HOW DID YOU FIND THEM? RECOMMENDED READING?
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